My Journey From A Full-Time Mother To A Full-Time Working Professional
“When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child” Sophia Loren’s words will resonate with all women who are mothers.
I took a sabbatical of 5 years to have my two children and be part of their formative years. To me, the most difficult part of starting afresh was actually making the decision, from being a full-time mother to adding an additional title – full-time professional. It’s a tough call to choose between your kids and career, but I soon realised that these two are completely different phenomena of life and must not be weighed against each other. The moment you start thinking that as much as your child is your priority, work is your necessity, you’ll find your own system of working things out.
Prior to gaining the tag of a “working-mom”, I was always in charge of my day. I had the time, opportunity and flexibility to dedicate my day to my work, and then during my sabbatical to my family. When both worlds collided, initially there was great turmoil and a range of emotions from being overwhelmed, to feeling guilty, to joy when the day actually panned out as I hoped! I quickly learned that if I wanted to make this work – I needed to relax and not always be in control. It’s ok to share our responsibilities with our family members, friends and relatives. I found my support system in my family who
1) ensured that my kids do not miss my presence when I was not around and
2) assisted me in those runs for a chart paper, shoes, last-minute projects etc.
It’s hard missing their Sports Day or travelling when they are down with a viral or not being home to hear what happened after a bad day at school. However, I found that when I communicated with them openly, shared my plans and my day with them, I never quite felt that I was away from them. I’ve realised that it’s not how much time you spend with your child but how you spend your time with them make the bond ever so priceless. We make sure that we have our special time together every day, it’s dinner time and bedtime for my family. It’s a daily routine where gadgets are far away and we are there for each other.
Though each one of us has our own mechanisms for functioning, for me planning helps me go a long way. I schedule and organize weeks ahead of time as that allows me to manage both my worlds. When I know a certain event is very important for my child – I make sure I don’t schedule meetings then or let my workplace know I’ll be coming in late that day. However, there are times when your child is sick and nothing works as per your plans, the system breaks down and you face a complete roadblock. It is disorienting but I’ve learnt to accept these phases as passing. I tell myself to keep looking ahead and move on – it happens to us all and everyone understands.
I believe that if you stay positive and determined, you’ll go the extra mile to achieve your dreams. A few points that I’d like to share with moms are:
1. Trust yourself, enjoy being a mom and consider yourself inspiration and strength for your children.
2. If you were out of touch with your field of work for some time, be prepared for a steep learning curve. I found it’s like riding a bike, you may be wobbly initially but it all comes back very quickly.
3. Take a short term/flexible course or join a program to refresh your skills. It will also send a positive message about your willingness and sincerity towards your career.
4. My three saviours were actively engaging my support system, openly communicating with my family and effectively planning as much as you can.
The initial blocks of your journey on this path will be a challenge but as they say, “difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations”.
The author is Partner and Lead Counsellor at ReachIvy
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This article was also published in Times Internet on 16/05/2017.
