Lockdown Diaries Nominee#36 Lockdown Diaries By Samuel Lagman

When asked what a relationship should be, I always compare it to a garden. The plants take form from tiny seeds, that when nurtured and cared for will grow. However, growing up in my green-thumb of a family has taught me that it is not easy. A garden takes careful attention, patience, and a time put in. Healthy plants equals happy gardeners, you could say that it’s like a two-way street. During this lockdown, I came to the realization that one of my gardens with a friend, one that I’ve held close to my heart for over three years, had become overgrown.

Perhaps the overgrown garden looks pleasing from a far, maybe even beautiful. However, when you take a step closer, the facade reveals a mess. With healthy plants come parasitic weeds; unruly and untamed. I already felt as if the relationship between us was straining: small things here and there that would eventually become unbearable. Being the coward that I was, I hid; masking the issues with the large amounts of each other shared. To be fair, this garden had intense complexity, buried with it were our deepest emotional issues and a form of codependency. However, when the pandemic struck, I was forced to stare at this garden every day.

I was not at the point where I wanted to rip everything out. I thought to myself, “this is still salvageable.” My plan of action was not the best. I decided to give some space, hoping that my friend would notice the elephant in the room. Still, the weeds grew, and it got even worse. So I finally let communication run its course, letting it all out expecting their thoughts and feelings to be reciprocated. And it was in the truth of that I found silence to be deafening. “Give it time” they said, “you guys will be okay eventually.”. No, the branches hardened, became sharper.

Do not get me wrong, the garden becoming overgrown was not one person’s fault. Nothing is binary. This problem was not just black and white, in fact it was a lot of gray area. There were many sides to the story that even I did not know of. I too am to blame for the turmoil, and frankly for not making the best decisions when it came to solving the problem. But everything happens for a reason, and now it is in the past.

Just like I dreaded cleaning the garden with my mom, the thought of trimming this relationship filled me with a bittersweet feeling; anger for letting it get this far, but also a sudden weight lifted off my shoulders. We silently agreed to go separate ways for now. It will be ugly for a while, possibly forever. The time has come to go back to our roots. Suddenly you find room to grow, to bloom, and to blossom. With all the cuts and bruises came valuable lessons and growth not only within the plants, but within the gardeners as well. Even if we are no longer tending to the same garden, I will cheer them on from a far. And maybe one day we will get to watch that garden grow again, this time bigger, and more beautiful.

Every now and then trimming is necessary. You do not get to stop trying. Even after three years, weeds will grow. It does not end at winning each other over. You keep going.

ReachIvy.com organized an online blog/vlog competition to provide people the unique opportunity to share their lockdown stories using their creativity. The competition met with a fantastic response from participants across 4 continents, and our jury has handpicked the Top 50 entries from them for the Popular Choice Award 2020!

e above entry has been submitted by Riddhi Srivastava from Lucknow, India. She is a 20-year-old student of the University of Delhi. Kudos to Riddhi for this beautiful piece!

Show your support and help Riddhi win the contest by liking this blog post on all ReachIvy.com’s social media platforms!